Put Your Flag in the Ground and Let People Know Who You Are
- Neil Wattier
- Apr 10
- 4 min read
By: Neil Wattier, Mental Coach for Athletes, Parents, and Coaches
It’s easy to get caught up in wins, stats, rankings, and what other people think. But the athletes who rise above the rest—who lead teams, overcome setbacks, and thrive long after the final whistle—are the ones who know who they are. They don’t just play the game; they plant their flag in the ground and say, “This is me.”
This idea isn’t about arrogance or being louder than everyone else. It’s about identity. Confidence doesn't come from being perfect. It comes from being clear.
I often work with adolescent athletes who struggle with self-doubt, fear of failure, or trying to fit into someone else’s mold. They hear voices all around them—parents, coaches, teammates, social media—telling them who they should be. But I always come back to this question: What’s your flag? What do you stand for? Who are you when the scoreboard isn’t working, the crowd isn’t cheering, and no one’s watching?
When you “plant your flag,” you take ownership of your identity—not just as an athlete, but as a person. You define your core values: maybe it's effort, integrity, resilience, discipline, or leadership. Your flag is your internal compass. It helps you make tough decisions. It reminds you what matters when things get hard. And it makes it easier to block out the noise.
“In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock.”
— Thomas Jefferson
For Athletes: Build Identity Before Results
Your sport is what you do—not who you are. It might sound cliché, but it’s true. If your identity is only built around your performance, then every mistake feels like personal failure. That’s dangerous. You need a foundation that isn’t shaken every time you miss a shot or get benched.
Start simple:
Write down 3–5 values you want to represent every time you compete.
Reflect on a time you were proud of how you handled a challenge—not because you won, but because you showed character.
Share your flag with someone you trust: “This is what I want to be known for.”
Confidence starts with clarity. The clearer you are about who you are, the less approval you need from anyone else.
For Parents: Support Identity Over Outcome
Your athlete needs more than praise and pressure. They need guidance saying, “I see you. I believe in who you are becoming.” This means celebrating effort and values, not just goals scored. When you focus only on outcomes, you unintentionally tie your child’s worth to performance.
Instead, ask questions like:
“What kind of teammate do you want to be?”
“What do you want people to remember about how you played?”
“What part of today made you feel proud?”
Help your athlete see themselves as more than a number or ranking. You’re not just raising a competitor. You’re helping shape a leader.
For Coaches: Develop People, Not Just Players
As a coach, you shape culture. You have the unique power to help athletes plant their flags with confidence. That means holding them accountable to values—not just effort or results. The locker room becomes stronger when each athlete knows they belong because of who they are, not just what they contribute.
Ask your team:
“What do we want to stand for?”
“What does it mean to wear this jersey?”
“What’s your personal flag, and how will you represent it this season?”
Give them space to answer. Let the quiet ones speak. Let the unsure ones grow. Identity is something you build together, one conversation and one standard at a time.
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What Happens When You Plant Your Flag
When athletes know who they are:
They’re more resilient after losses
They compete with purpose, not just pressure
They lead more effectively
They build habits that last beyond sport
This matters, because at some point, the season ends. The stats fade. But the identity you’ve built—the flag you’ve planted—that stays with you.
So to every young athlete reading this: decide who you are before others try to decide for you. Be bold in your standards. Be proud of your character. And let your effort reflect the flag you fly.
And to the parents and coaches walking alongside them: help them plant it. Help them protect it. Because that flag might be the most powerful thing they carry—on the field, in the classroom, and throughout life.
Own it. Fly it. Live it.
Powerful individualized coaching addresses many complex performance challenges.
Every athlete has specific performance needs and goals.
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